Why we date? Is a question that most do not wish to answer. Did you know our  brains releases the chemical high called dopamine when someone attractive is in our sight? The same rush that narcotics produces. It is fleeting, hurried, an instant high when meeting someone attractive for the first time. 

In society no matter what station you are in life, there will always be need to ask for direction regarding dating customs. No one can truly call themselves dating gurus without some dating mileage on their meter. While, a good 85% of today’s songs are about love and expressing how we should love dating is not as popular to sing or write about. 

So people turn to books, movies, television, and Hollywood for dating advise. Many confuse dating with love or falling in love. This topic of popularity focuses on Hollywood social norms of dating. Which is the swift of this time in age of dating advise that people are gravitating to. 

What one should keep in mind the Hollywood industry is not real. Much like the fantasy comic books/movies which it has been built upon. Following the blueprint of dating as celebrities do is a mockup of building upon an air foundation Hollywood dating consists of:

.Instant Gratification 

.Boosting Careers

.Tabloid fodder/gossip 

. Contractual marriages 

. Unrealistic expectations out of the other partner. 

Taking these step by step we will examine the ways many people make the mistake of dating as Hollywood social norms are acceptable. 

Instant gratification does require a amount of having a number of sex partners. Not just a few here or there, but having multiple relations with many different celebrities. Hollywood is levels of celebrity power. Ever heard of the casting couch? The all seeing eye? All these are introductory steps to seeing how far you are willing to push your self respect when dating the opposite sex or same sex. Being intimate first is a requirement getting to know someone is superficial and we shall discuss that as well. Not saying two people in Hollywood don’t marry for love, but examine how they got together. Some were married and had extra marital affairs and dated while married to their spouse. I can think of three high profile celebrities that started this trend and it is acceptable as Hollywood dating. See? Instant gratification. 

Meaning detoxing from relationships or giving yourself time to draw back yourself from being with someone doesn’t happen. It creates a serial dater/void that has to be filled in dating in Hollywood, going from  one celebrity to the next celebrity. Remember, Hollywood is still a industry not everyone is in. It is relatively small and the powers that be keep it that way. 

It creates an unhealthy unrealistic view to dating and what should be expected out of dating. 

No person of realistic expectations of dating should find sex first is a requirement. 

Hollywood also plays into dating in a way to boost careers, or keep careers stagnant. “Hollywood Dating” enjoys the equal star power of when two people who are of equal celebrity status date. It boost careers as it opens avenues to more leverage with casting directors, commercial deals, and such. It can also keep careers stagnant for the person who may have a more stellar career to be able to promote, whatever image needed for Hollywood to make revenue. So dating isn’t really dating but using a person’s feelings to get ahead or keep that person as a mere tool. 

Regarding the tabloids meaning paparazzi that keeps the buzz about celebrities, among fans to create more fans, things need to be done to generate that type of gossip. 

So some while dating would plant outrageous stories either by their publicist or made up stories or even going as far as to do outrageous things to keep the dating relationship as a topic of conversation. 

Which is selfish, vain, and petty most reality TV scripts follow this type of plot. Which is sadly, for some a reality and acceptable to date get married for 72 days while dating someone else and pregnant with his child. This creates more gossip more tabloid fodder of a makeup dating norm that wouldn’t hold its weight in the real world. Yet, many people seek to model after this disturbing trend. 

Contractual marriages or a lesser known form open marriages as it is called is another pre dating custom before a Hollywood marriage. While dating the person either chosen for you or to procreate and have children with there is a measure of love but clauses in this love contract. Remember, Hollywood is constructed on something not real trying to portray this is how people should be. 

It will shock some to know how many open marriages and contractual marriages there are. Even if not for contractual or open marriages, there are the marriages that come with iron clad pre ups. In most marriages, if religious, the two people  dating most don’t have a prenup. While Hollywood and divorce go hand in hand there must be a prenup or if to create more gossip divorce and have it play out in public. 

The most damaging of these Hollywood dating norms is unrealistic expectations of the partner. In Hollywood where it is a certain measured level to be perfect, flaws are either exaggerated or fed into a ballon ego. Where does the person’s present front end and the person you want to get to know and date is willingly to date for love. 

Some cannot separate that unreal imagine and it can be very difficult. Happens all the time to famous men and women when the cameras, lights, and fans go away many don’t know who their real self is. It’s near to impossible to remember, the real person you are and don’t adopt Hollywood’s dating norms, into trying to to create something real to hold on to. 

Expecting that level of unreal perfection when dating is dangerous. 

It will create a monster that sees small differences as ugly deficients in your dating partner. 

Hollywood is changing as it resides the powerhouse of celebrity wealth. Wherever sources people, get their dating advice from, Hollywood is not recommended as a template for dating for true love. It will always come up with quick fix solutions to dating issues. 

Leandra 

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Leandra Wilkerson
Leandra Wilkerson is an Actress, Model, Food Blogger, and Entrepreneur for Financial Literacy Awareness. She has a diverse background working in the corporate world as well as working for herself. Leandra Wilkerson is teaching young men and women to start their own businesses and become more financially independent. Also in her spare time she volunteers for Meals on Wheels and the nonprofit organization Lantern.

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